Today, I was trying to fix my doorbell.

I'm not an electrician. A few years ago, I probably would have called a friend and said, "Hey, I'm trying to install this thing, and I have no idea what I'm doing. Can you help me?"

Maybe my friend would have known the answer. Maybe not. Maybe we'd have spent five minutes talking about the doorbell and another twenty talking about work, life, or something completely unrelated.

But today, I didn't need to make that call. I took a picture, asked AI a question, and got an answer. Then I asked another question. And another. The problem was getting solved, and I hadn't interrupted anyone.

Convenient, right?

Absolutely. But it also left me wondering: What happened to the conversation I never had?

The little reasons we stay connected

I think we sometimes underestimate what it means to ask someone for help.

When a friend calls you because they need something, there can be a small but meaningful feeling behind it: They thought of me. They trusted me enough to ask. You may not even be able to solve the problem. But you get to be part of their day.

And that call can turn into something else. "How have you been?" "We should grab coffee." "Are you free this weekend?"

I know friendships shouldn't exist only because we need favours. That's not my point. My point is that these ordinary excuses used to create opportunities to talk. They kept a connection warm without either person having to schedule a formal catch-up.

Now we have a tool that can answer the question before we even think of a person to call.

I wonder how many friendships won't end with a fight or a misunderstanding. They'll simply become quieter. One missed conversation at a time.

There's an awkward side to this, too. If someone calls us out of nowhere, just to ask how we're doing, why does a part of us sometimes wonder, "What do they need?" We've become so used to having a reason to reach out that reaching out without one can feel strange.

Maybe AI isn't creating that habit. But I worry it is removing even more of the reasons that used to bring us together.

When five o'clock doesn't mean five o'clock anymore

I work in technology, so I know how exciting AI can be. I genuinely enjoy discovering what it can do.

But picture a regular workday. It's 4:30 p.m., you're working from home, and you discover something incredible. You try one prompt, then another. You start testing possibilities you didn't even know existed an hour ago.

Suddenly, it's evening.

The volleyball game you could have joined, the coffee you could have had with a friend, or even the simple walk that might have led to a conversation has been replaced by one more experiment on your laptop.

I'm not saying curiosity is bad. Far from it. And people were getting absorbed in technology long before AI arrived. But AI makes it remarkably easy to keep going because there's always another answer, another idea, another thing to explore.

The unsettling part is that we can feel productive, entertained, and connected to a conversation while spending another evening alone.

Can something make us feel less lonely and still leave us more isolated?

This is where the conversation gets complicated.

Research published in the Journal of Consumer Research found that interacting with AI companions can reduce feelings of loneliness in the moment. That matters. If someone is isolated, an accessible conversation may provide genuine relief. I don't want to dismiss that.

But a 2026 study in Psychological Science followed more than 2,000 adults over a year and found a more complicated pattern. Increased social-chatbot use predicted greater loneliness on one measure, while feeling less socially connected predicted later chatbot use on another. The researchers cautioned against drawing strong causal conclusions.

In other words, we shouldn't confidently say that AI is making everyone lonely. People who already feel lonely may be more likely to seek out AI. Both things could be happening, and we're still learning.

There's another reality check. In a 2026 Pew Research Center survey, 10% of U.S. adults said they used AI chatbots for emotional support or advice, while 4% said they used them for companionship. Most people are not replacing their friends with chatbots.

Still, I keep coming back to one question: What if AI makes loneliness comfortable enough that we stop trying to change it?

It's easy to talk to something that's available whenever we want. Real people aren't like that. They get busy. They misunderstand us. They disagree. They sometimes let us down. But working through those moments is also how trust and friendship grow.

And when someone is struggling emotionally, AI might be a starting point for reflection, but it isn't the same as having a person who knows you or receiving care from a qualified therapist.

What about the children who grow up with this?

When I was a kid, parents told us to go outside and play. Make friends. Meet people. Come back when it gets dark.

I sometimes imagine being a parent in a world where AI is built into every game, every device, and every conversation. What happens when a child says, "Why should I go outside? I have someone to talk to right here."

That thought scares me a little.

But I also don't want to romanticize the past. Playing video games with real friends can be social, too. In a 2024 Pew Research Center survey, 89% of U.S. teen video-game players said they played with other people, and 47% said they'd made a friend online through gaming. Being indoors doesn't automatically mean being alone.

The more important question is whether children are building relationships with other people or learning to avoid people altogether.

A 2025 Common Sense Media survey found that 72% of U.S. teenagers had tried AI companions. But it also found that 80% of teens who had used AI companions spent more time with real friends than with AI companions. That's a reminder not to panic or pretend we already know what the next generation will become.

The COVID years changed what many of us considered normal. Working from home became familiar. Video calls became routine. Some changes were helpful, and some came with trade-offs.

AI may be another new normal. The difference is that this one doesn't just change how we communicate. It could change who we turn to in the first place.

Maybe the answer is to call anyway

I don't think the solution is to stop using AI. I'm not going to pretend I'll stop asking it questions tomorrow. It saves time, helps me learn, and makes plenty of everyday things easier.

But maybe I need to think more carefully about what I do with the time it saves.

If AI helps me finish work early, I can go play volleyball. If it helps me solve a problem, I can still tell a friend about it. If it helps me find the right words, I can use those words to have a difficult conversation with a real person.

And maybe we should get better at calling people for absolutely no reason.

Not because we need a favour. Not because there's an emergency. Just because we haven't spoken in a while and we'd like to know how they're doing.

I think that's the future I want. A world where AI helps us do more, but doesn't quietly take the place of the people we want to do life with.

The doorbell got me thinking about all this because the task was so small. Nothing dramatic happened. I got help. I carried on with my day. That's exactly why it matters. The things we lose gradually don't always announce themselves.

So here's what I'm asking myself, and maybe you can ask yourself too:

When was the last time you called a friend just because you wanted to hear their voice?

And if AI gives us back so much time, who are we going to spend that time with?

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